Life style matching of a couple is not a complicated process.  After (typically) a full life style has been done on both parties, areas of connection and disconnection are examined.  While there is no set model for doing this, I've found examining five key areas provide a comprehensive overview of the relationship.  Not every couple has every area matched or even examined, and some have additional ones, but in general, here are the five:

 

Psychological Vantage Point:  One key area is to examine how each person found his or her place with his or her siblings.  Birth order dynamics can be part of this, but so are issues such as sibling rivalry, competition, alliances and the like. 

 

Family Values:  This area examines what each person found to be key family values.  Family values are those issues which were important to both parents.  Under this heading, issues of religion, money, achievement, and education are frequently examined. Differences in value priorities can be a potential source of conflict while similarities in values can be an area from which to build cohesion

 

Family Atmosphere:  The prevailing emotional tone of the home is examined in this area.  For the most part, while the parents play the crucial role in determining this, sibling relationships with each other and the parents is important as well.  Whether or not the family's religious beliefs, socioeconomic status and values mesh with the neighborhood and community are important in determining the atmosphere as well.  Children tend to incorporate the (perceived) atmosphere into their life styles as their dominant moods.  For example, if the family atmosphere was depressing and hopeless, the mood of the children (who perceived it this way) would tend to be flat and unresponsive.

 

Gender Guiding Lines:  This area examines the role models for what it means to be masculine or feminine.  Once again, the parents are largely the key figures here, but significantly older siblings, very involved aunts and uncles as well as grandparents and close family friends can play a key part in establishing for individuals what they believe it means to be masculine or feminine.

 

Perspectives on Life:  This final area is principally determined via an analysis and matching of each partner's early recollections.  How do they view life, themselves and other people?  What conclusions have they drawn from their families of origin?